azaxxiie said: Why not get rid of “he was positive that” as well I think
Yes! Right on!
Dying was the easiest decision he’d ever made.
You could even put the name of the character in, like this:
Dying was the easiest decision Collin had ever made.
Or something else like this:
I like your title!
I’m on the fence about your line. On one hand, I really do like it. On another, it seems like it might be a cop-out. It really depends on the rest of the story as to whether it is or not.
I think you should try to tighten the sentence a little more. Like “He was positive that dying was the easiest decision he’d ever made.”
You should aim to say as much as possible in as few words as possible. Think of it like a shooting star. A shooting star is stunning but fleeting. It makes you want to see more. If your first line is like a shooting star, then you’re sure to capture your readers.
Choosing death was the easiest decision he’d ever made.
Ahhh, I love public workshopping~~
You could even get rid of ‘had’ because it’s not doing much to service the sentence either.
‘Dying was the easiest decision he ever made.’
‘Dying was the easiest decision Collin ever made.’
‘Choosing death was the easiest decision he ever made.’
It makes the sentence even more active without ‘had’ in it, in part, again, because it doesn’t have any purpose there other than to fill space. Granted, occasionally ‘had’ does fit in, a story.
Great points! I like your edits. That’s some good thinking right there!
I do like having “had” in there because it’s generally grammatically necessary if it’s being included, but in this case, you’re completely correct.
I’m so happy to get this many contributions so far~ :3