Doctor stuff.



Basically got an official diagnosis of anxiety today. Got prescribed Xanax. I was told that I need to see a psychiatrist, which somehow makes the anxiety even more stressful than it has been.

Remember how I said the other day that I’ve been hustling in order to pay rent and whatnot?

Well, it’s taken a toll on my health to some degree. My blood pressure and heart rate have been making my doctors very unhappy. I even did a 24-hour heart monitor a while back but was told that everything was fine. -.-

My doctor was concerned about how I’m having trouble getting to sleep some nights.

So she asked me what I was anxious about (since I’d briefly mentioned that it hasn’t been great lately).

And that was one of those “Well, boy, howdy, do I have a story for you…” moments.

The more I told her, the more she was like, “Yeah, you definitely have a lot to be anxious about.”

So now I have Xanax. Yay. And I’m supposed to go see a psychiatrist at some point. :/

I went to counseling when I was in school because it was a service available to students. Last May was the last time I went. I’ve been keeping up with my anxiety/depression journal some. And I’m not afraid to vent to people. I’m really not, haha.

But my brain and body are being uncooperative.

So this is a bit longer than I wanted it to be, but I figured this was an important update.

And it serves as an excellent reminder to all of us: no matter how good things are, there will still be bad stuff. But it doesn’t mean that everything is suddenly bad. It just means there are some bad things in your life.

No matter how triumphant I have felt lately, I’m still tightly wound and exhausted. But I’ve made it to a good and important place in my life.

I’ve always had anxiety. This is just a new step in my life, and that’s okay.

Never forget how amazing you are. You have gone through so much already and despite the odds, you’re still going. It takes an incredible amount of character to do and accomplish the things that you have. I have enormous faith that it is possible for you to over come this. If anything else, I’ll let you know that I am very grateful that I’m able to follow you as a blog, and that we, all 10,000 + of us enjoy every minute that you are a part of our community.

Pain may be great, but it is not meant to last.

Your gain shall be great, for this to shall pass.

Thank you. <3

That really means a lot to me. Seriously. It’s hard to think positive sometimes (okay, more than I’d like to admit), and seeing messages from all the lovely people makes it a little easier. 🙂

This has been in Draft Purgatory for a while. But this is what I needed to read right now. 

I’m so grateful for all the wonderful followers that I have gained over the years, and it means so much to me that you have stuck with me all through this stuff.

I’m scared about things right now, but I’m trying to cope. I hope to get back into the swing of things. I need to balance work and life and stress and everything else. I’m actually starting to get work done again, so I’m hoping that things will be okay.

I will do my best to not let you wonderful people down. <3

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