by Tom Gauld
The Indecisive Novelist’s Characters Converse…
Person 1: Hello, Brian!
Person 2 I’m not Brian anymore. In this draft, I’m Ben. I was Susan for a while, but let’s not get into that.
Person 1: I’m still Keith, but he keeps changing my wife. It’s very confusing.
Person 2: It is.
Person 1: We should consider ourselves lucky: did you hear about Muriel?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: Written out completely! And all her good lives given to the barman in chapter two!
Person 2: How horrible!