1. “omg they were roommates”
2. “stop. I’m sensitive Aubrey”
3. “this is the dollar store how good can it be”
4. “wow”
5. “hi, im renata bliss and im your freestyle dance teacher”
6. “later mom. what up me and my boys going to see uncle cracker. give me my hat back jordan”
7. “why don’t you guys laugh about it”
8. “daddy?” “do i look like”
9. “what the fuck richard”
10. “psst” “what”
11. “stop I coulda dropped my croissant”
12. “that’s a big ass mirror” “i got big ass eyebrows”
13. “I’m washin me and my clothes”
14. “I’ve got my hat on backwards and it’s time to fuckin party” smack
15. “whalfoejfjsk lipstick in my valentino white bag?”
16. “nice, ron” “I sneezed! Oh what I’m not allowed to sneeze?”
17. “what up I’m Jared I’m nineteen and I never fuckin learned how to read”
18. “Zach stop”
19. “hey derek” “what’s up bitch”
20. “so no head?”
21. “happy birthday raven!!!!!” “I can’t swim”
22. “can you guys say colorado!” “im a giraffe”
23. “you know this boy got a free taco” smack
24. “Girl you’re thicker than a bowl of oatmeal”
25. “so I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties”
26. “hey babe happy one year” “I’m 27”
27. every soda fountain flavour “fuck you”
28. “I want to see my little boy”
29. “road work ahead. ah yeah I sure hope it does”
30. “I won’t hesitate bitch”
31. “an avacado. thanks”
32. scared grandma throwing milk
33. “I don’t care that you broke your elbow”
34. lead singer trips and falls, drummer plays bah dum tis
35. “toss me my keys” “I thought you said printer”
36. “who! whose following you” “the bugs”
37. twerking to the security alarm
38. “you either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at mcdonalds” “we goin to mcdonalds if I don’t do my work?”
39. “get me a bloody mary and make it snappy” “sir this is subway”
40. “what the FUCK is up kyle”
41. “how do you know what’s good for me?” “that’s my opinion”
42. “ah fuck. I can’t believe you’ve done this”
43. that guy who can’t stop slipping in the snow
44. “stop the music. Somebody left an ice cube on the ground and it melted now my sock is wet who the fuck wanna die”
45. Halloween gloved hand shoves a finger down the throat of someone wearing a Halloween nun mask
46. “two shots of vodka”
47. “My favourite screamo band is probably big time rush” “oh my god”
48. “I take a nap here”
49. air mattress on the lake
50. “look at the buns on that guy” “this is the comedy police, the jokes too funny” “I’m not going back to jail”