Honestly I dont think folk talk about the real fear disabled people have when it comes to work. Like I know people are going to read that and make a moralistic judgement about it, but its true. I’ve only ever really discussed it once, at a support group, and we identified two main reasons. First, the fear work exhausting you, and thus spending all of your time not working desperately trying to recover from it, while not having any spoons left to do things like wash or cook for yourself of clean, let alone actually have any kind of life outside work. And because we know ourselves, we know thats setting us up for a breaking point where we will inevitably crash because living like that isn’t sustainable. And the second main fear was of being trapped in a workplace where if something did go wrong, you would be allowed the space to take care of yourself and recover, let alone expect any support. 

I was on the phone to my dad the other day talking about applying for jobs and he said “just remember, the worst thing they can do is say no” and I’ve had this niggling feeling ever since that really, I find job hunting so hard because what I’m actually afraid of is that they’ll say yes. 

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