Realistic Halloween Starters



“– He gave me a toothbrush. Let’s egg his house.”
“Didn’t even try to decorate the house, huh.”
“If you wear that ‘this is my costume’ t-shirt, I swear to god…”
“Ew, I hate this flavor. Trade?”
“Stop crying, it was just some dude wrapped in toilet paper!”
“Wow, you sure put too much effort into this holiday.’
“They didn’t have any more candy so I asked for weed.”
“Every time I sit down more kids show up at the door. I hate Halloween.”
“Whoops, no more candy. Sorry. Bye.”
“How cute. You look like you raided a dumpster!”
“Apparently she’s dressed as a witch, but I don’t really see the difference…”
“Aren’t you a little old to be trick or treating?”
“I don’t think you should be having that much sugar…”
“If you weren’t diabetic before, I’m pretty sure you are now…”
“Bobbing for apples is gross. Every kid got spit in there.”
“This house isn’t sca–AHHH!”
“Kind of makes me wish something interesting would happen. Like murder.”
“We’re going to a graveyard? What are you, thirteen?”
“I’ve seen scarier Hot Topic cashiers.”
“This isn’t right. Where are the slutty male costumes?!”
“This party sucks. I’d rather be out getting free candy with first-graders.”
“Yeah, because I definitely want to get arrested for trespassing tonight.”
“You wasted all the toilet paper on the first house, there’s nothing left!”
“Okay, so just hit the door bell and then run!”
“It’s just a couple of broken eggs, it’s not going to damage the car!”
“No way. People who have sex at parties die on Halloween. That’s just movie logic.”

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