Vampire: Father, this mortal plagues my thoughts night in and night out. I wish to establish a friendship with her and be her companion from now until the day she dies. How do I do it? I haven’t spoken to anyone outside of the clan since 1576.
Vampire Dad: It’s not as difficult as you think, son. You simply need to be direct, open and honest.
Vampire: Direct, open and honest?
Vampire: Yes, son. Just go to her, state your purpose, and wait for an answer.
(Twenty minutes later, bursting through the wall of Jennifer’s house in the form of a giant vampire bat): JENNIFER I WANT TO BE FRIENDS
Vampire: JENNIFER I’M WAITING